quote (v): cite, recite, repeat, refer to, mention, allude to, parrot

quote [kwōt]
v (past and past participle quot·ed, present participle quot·ing, 3rd person present singular quotes)
1.  vti repeat somebody’s exact words: to repeat or copy the exact words spoken or written by somebody
2.  vti refer to something for proof: to refer to something as an example in support of an argument

Because there should be a place of permanence for hilarity, cleverness or interesting  thought, so this page is just for that.

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Wesley Snipes: “You ever play roulette?”                                                                                                                                                                                                   European terrorist: “On occasion.”                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Wesley Snipes: “Well, let me give you a little piece of advice: Always bet on black!”

 

*sigh* I just can’t wait til I’m sober. –me

“You think that I’m afraid of a little blood on a tree? I bleed once a month.” –Carri

“we dented the oven door handle” -jackie, carri’s aunt

“that african man is staring at me” -”he probably wants to be your boyfriend” -”he’s probably my cousin” -”ugh” -exchange between carri and i.

“girl, you have a nice set of teeth on you, you must be on your way back from the dentist” – a man shoveling the snow, while on my way back home from the gym.

While sitting on a church stoop, drinking:
“we’re in front of a church, maybe we should pray” -me
“yeah, let’s pray that we get drunk.” -vicky

–“i am in your house, on your computer and you aren’t even here. like your worst fears, i have replaced you in your own home” -me to carri.

–“…apparently it wasn’t grand theft auto because he left the keys in the car.” nene

–“my crush on him is so retired, it gets social security checks.” -me

–“i may still be a tad bit left over high. like theres a trace of smoke in my body, floating around like casper” -danielle.

–“don’t speak to me like i didn’t have any books in my high school.” -me

–“Nobody puts baby in the closet” -ma
–“…what is that a gay joke?” -me
–“that’s what they say in the movie.” -ma
–“No, it isn’t. It’s ‘nobody puts baby in the corner'” -me.
–“Really? Why would baby be in the corner” -ma
–*sigh* -me

–“If you see me in SMAC, i’m probably high and lost.” -ajala.

–“It’s the baby bear of all cleavage, because it’s just right.” -Natalie —–several months later, in regards to me worrying that i was showing too much cleavage: “don’t worry, it’s baby bear.”

“i always date boys that act like they’re afraid of women.”
“they’re not acting…they’re boys. you need to be dating men.”

–“some curses are good, haven’t you ever seen the mummy?”
–“um, natalie, that was not a good curse”
–“what? what about all that gold and stuff?”

–“We aren’t Sleeping Beauties that have the happy endings in 20 pages, half of which are filled with illustrations. We’re a hybrid between Princess Leia and the female version of Indiana Jones with a rigorous scheduling of movie series ahead of us.” -Jacque

“if my heart could beat, it would break my chest” -Spike –Buffy, 6:07

Birthday Weekend 2009

“”I thought he was near your nipple.”
“Almost he bit the top of my right breast.”
“don’t you ever push me again when i say something to you or i’m gonna hurt you.”
“i want you to hurt me because i want to hurt you.”
“He is cute”
“Do you want a dance. I have five dollars.”
“No” *Shy smile
“Take this money”
Minutes later
*Dirty dancing on stage
“shit, he’s taking our food to box it, now we’re only gonna get half back. i want to box my own food.”
“what are you talking about? no, he’s not gonna take half of it.”
*minutes later*
“half my pasta is gone, and i think that he took a bite out of my damn biscuit”
“i told you so.”
“That Anthony was a little light in the pants.”
“you know what would be funny? if they made a porno about a woman with the last name johnson and her encounter with a… you know, johnson, and they called it Johnson & Johnson”
“Okay what’s another name for it?”
“Johnson”
“Don’t say that”
“Why?”
“That’s my husband’s last name”
“I’m talking about the one without an ‘h'”
*Beika leaning out the car to put out cigar.
“Oh my God! That child gone fall out on the streets.”
“Why do I have to hear you calling that woman a child?”
“It ain’t no worst than Nicole calling people baby.”
“nicole went running down that hill and all i saw was the back of her ankles. -all i’m thinking is, why the hell does this girl not have on socks in subzero weather.”
“I got the worst walking partner. Why when she walking down the hill, she had her shoulders pushed back like George Jefferson.”
*takes a picture of beika*
stranger, “i like it better from that angle.”
nene, “happy st. patrick’s day.”
me, “who the fuck is that?”
“Here are your shots”
Salt sprinkled on hand.
“You don’t take a vodka shot with salt.”
Shrug shoulders and lick salt anyway.
(at the night club)
“what kind of fucking chairs are these? they look like something i would see in the wiz.”
“I want to come here again.”
“Are you going to go back to Silk?”
“No, I’m not a pervert.”
“i know you won all of that money but you better not give it all to those strippers.”
“please, i’m leaving my damn money in the car.”
“I was so cool when I won that three hundred dollars. The woman beside me was happier than I was.”
“That’s not true, you were over there clapping your hands and saying ‘eee……'”
“Excuse me ma’am. Can you tell me where-”
“I’m not from here.” (Yells in agitation). Revs up the engine and pulls of. “Thank you!”
“hi, we are filing a complaint report on kamesha, correction: can you tell me her last name?”
-“is it johnson?”
–“which kamesha?”
“the one at the cashier’s desk”
– and — in unison “oh, i don’t know”
“Excuse me ma’am, can you please let me know why they are holding my i.d.”
“Your i.d. was cut in half.”
“Well it wasn’t that way when I gave it to you.”
“gambling is stupid, i don’t understand how anyone can be addicted to this.”
*gets dirty look from a stranger*
“Man I’m not playing this game any more. I’m losing all my money.”
*Cash out
“Wait I only lost thirty six cents.”
“Full nude. Full alcohol.”
“Hey ladies are you ready to see some hot men.”
“Yeah!” (in a raspy whisper)
“Is that all you got a ‘yeah'”
“Yeah I lost my voice.”
“Well we all know how you lost your voice”
*Arms thrown up in offense and ready to throw down
-“do you have the drink special?”
–“no, i’m gonna pay for it.” *attitude*
—“i think you offended the stripper. don’t you go and make a stripper mad -haven’t you ever seen player’s club?”
“He was back there telling his B his whole life story. They said he couldn’t strip until he proved himself.”
“How does he have to prove himself.”
“By selling drinks for dances.”
“i didn’t want to be up there for that… now if they had that mandingo *expletive*, then we would have been in business.”
“Why was she trying to give all the money to the first guy who came out? He started shaking and she grabbed a fist full of dollars.”
“he was trying to bounce off of me -well my chest is bigger than his thing, so his ass was gonna lose.”
“I’m scared of being to close to the stage what if they decide to slap me across my face.”
*knocks over shot of vodka*
“damn, we gotta clean that up, it got all over beika’s coat”
“that’s what she gets for leaving the table. maybe she won’t notice.
” (*see muscles*) *knocks over another shot of vodka*
“shit, well we might as well drink the two that are left”
“I said if a stripper dances on me, I’m dancing back and that exactly what I did. You did it too.”
“if a stripper dances on me, i’m dancing back.”
“I told you that I could make it clap.”
“are you a diva? are you sure that you’re a diva?”
“Girl you better touch that body. You know you need to wipe him off.”
Delete
“i don’t want them bending over in front of me, all i’m gonna see is ass and slash.”
“You know I got a phobia. I don’t want nothing near my leg or my lips.”
“they better not try to send me to the other side of the club, i’m not into the split.”
“Who spilled liquor on my sleeve. I think my coat is drunk.”
“go ahead girl, i think you made an imprint on his ass.” 🙂 hehe
“Six pack and your cooler.” 🙂

Wesley Snipes: “You ever play roulette?”

European terrorist: “On occasion.”

Wesley Snipes: “Well, let me give you a little piece of advice: Always bet on black!”

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One Response to “quote (v): cite, recite, repeat, refer to, mention, allude to, parrot”

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