overzealous assholes, rambunctious children, overambitious elitists and self-indulgent churchgoers. these are only a few of the things that make me roll my eyes. without fail, i am approached with personalities like this and i buckle over in disgust. perhaps dramatically said, but unbelievably true.
I still don't know that I'm an adult, and I suppose that the closest indication is that fact that I can travel places without permission. I know that my parents would prefer that I'd ask, but at the root of it…I know that I have control of where I go.
Another thing that tells me that I'm an adult is the way that I think about things. I have begun to examine things with a completely different set of eyes. I have started to determine what is really important in life based off of what I know and the experiences that I have had. Life is not about fretting about boys (or girls), reading trashy novels, buying things online or building bridges…it's simply about people and experiences. The people that you love and like…intimately. It's about the courage and brilliance, taking chances and breaking rules. It's all about bending the inevitable. I know that often I fall back to the juvenile way of thinking, but I gain comfort from knowing something that I consider to be real.
i don't think i'll be a real adult until i've earn something though… something of my very own. privately and happily.
let's be honest, i usually am not dressed within a minute after arriving home, following a long day or even a short one. as soon as my door opens, i immediately toss the articles that i am wearing into the nearest corner. Perhaps I will put on a pair of shorts (so short that I couldn't dare wear in public) and a tank top…but that isn't always likely.
Sun and Universe by the Scoop
We shared the universe one scoop at a time and devoured it by the spoonful. You and I, we know this secret. We know how to taste things without using our mouths, but we use them anyway. We know that sometimes things will melt equally in your mouth and in your hand… when given enough attention. To say otherwise would be ridiculous. To say it again would be redundant.
We eat the sidewalks of cities like we have steel teeth barred with wool for the chewing. We take comfort in the travel and solace in the experience, and we so enjoy every minutes of the sightseeing that we don’t even notice when we are staring into the sun. That secret of ours resurfaces. And we are tempted to taste again, sink our teeth into the sun. We take the hot molting taste of hydrogen and helium to bed with us at night. It all makes for a radiant life.
Shared Experience, Chicago
Sometimes I would like to introduce you to my Chicago,
where we watch movies on bed sheets at night,
in the park,
while it is dark
and we pay no attention to the movie.
I would like to give you tours of the Shedd Aquarium,
the Museum of Science and Industry and the Field Museum.
I would take you for a swim, deep in the evening,
while most of city is sleeping.
We could roam those waves and then rest on the sand.
We could wander all those twenty miles down the lake front just
to indulge in one another’s company.
I want to take you for a kernel of Garret’s
Popcorn, a piece of Harold’s
Chicken and a slice of Eli’s
I would like to walk the magnificent mile with you.
I would take you to the Museum of Contemporary Art to talk to you
if I knew that you would talk back.
I would take you to Washington Park to experience the festivals and parades.
…rather than unrecommending one or more of these movies, i’d just like to say that i decided to recommend them before i finished watching them.
at my funeral, i hope they can’t stop saying how funny i was or at least how charming. they would say, “she was such a lovely girl and had a beautiful smile. she treated people well but was always so very sassy”. from the corner, i would agree but quietly as not to be swatted. some of them will trade my secrets. “did you know that nicole was only “5 foot 1 1/2, not 5 foot 2 like she told everyone?” “did you know that nicole used to like the taste of soap as a child?” i’d like to hope there are more of those anecdotes than tears, that way people are smiling at my memory and not crying because of the loss of me.