i’m tired… exhausted, fairly sleepy and am lying in my bed even though i have a body-sum of homework to do. Some girl is moving in next door, and is a bit loud, but i suppose that’s okay. i’m not exactly quiet. something she will find out soon. -after finishing the l word, i am not sure who killed jenny. maybe it’s because i kept fast forwarding. i’m not sure that it absolutely matters. though the show held my attention, i’m not sure how i liked it as a body. there was no progression in the show, everyone ended up exactly where they began…well except jenny..cause she’s dead, but aside from that, the same. -well there was some progression.
my thigh muscles are twitching. it’s kind of gross. full disclosure.
i feel upset and uncomfortable, and unsure about the future. it’s all very sickening. i kinda of feel like digging up a hole and crawling neatly into it.
sometimes i think the people that work at this school are such c**ts, in the most impolite meaning of the word. more specifically, the jenn woman that works in the campus life office. is it my fault that you don’t know how to secure your accounts so that others won’t get into it? is it students’ fault that a falsified email was sent out under your name? is it our fault that an adult woman and an a campus organization can’t convince the faculty that knox students can participate in a game in which children excel. i don’t think so.
-basically, i’m just going off on a rant, because i went into this asshole’s office because i got i’m email from her, which apparently a lot people got…and she was nasty and rude. to quote her exactly, “I don’t know who sent that… so, go.” well honey, i am not a car…don’t tell me to go and don’t dismiss me like i am a child. she was in a midst an apology for her wicked ways, when i simply spun around and walked out of her office -like the classy woman that i am. of course. -perhaps in addition to sending out a blanket email, suggesting that people not come into your office, you could put up a sign saying that the account was hacked, as to deviate students because not all students check their email throughout the day. what a silly sack. i should be doing my work. i’ll do that.
so for the last few weeks i’ve been marathoning the l word, powering through the entire show. now, i am almost done. this is not something new to me, getting so caught up in something that i don’t even bother to sleep -just so i can achieve the goal of completion. if only i were this way with school work or writing. if only i weren’t so damn lazy. in general, i am rather fed up with myself, but i don’t know that i can change, not right now -because i don’t have the time to change. but when i do, when i make that time….i hope that my change is swift and dynamic. wonderful and un-fickle. babble babble.
-i don’t know who kills jenny’s character yet, but i’m not mad about it. i don’t usually endorse death dealing, however i find her to be a such a c***. in the worst way. i hate her more viciously that i’ve ever hated a fictional character in my life. this hate for her is so strong that it resonates within me, and bothers me even when I am sleeping.