@ “home”

25 Nov

We left Indiana this morning, and drove our asses to boring Chicago. I want to leave already. I’m already annoyed. Natalie is singing a terrible song, my niece accidentally picked apart my food, my father is being weird, this house is small and close. Every time i come here, i reaffirm the fact that i never want to come back. If i weren’t an adult, I would consider my contemplation, running away. -i’m sleepy, for no reason because I haven’t done anything to warrant the tiredness. Maybe i’m just tired of this, this place. I shouldn’t complain because I’ve already committed to never staying here for an extended period of time again, which just goes to make me angrier because my parents are getting older, and not that they are ready for death, but I don’t take their mortality very lightly, and my own for that matter. I get angry at myself for hating my father so much because he isn’t a bad man, he is just an asshole. And I get mad at myself for not spending nearly enough time with my mother, who at times acts a little bats**t but is utterly amazing. Blah my life in general. I’m such an emo bear. Pep up, Nicole.

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