so i’m unproductive, a usual for me as i can never stay focused enough to let my words settle. be it an issue with attention span or word agenda, i can’t manage to spit out a legible thing edgewise. maybe i can blame it on buffy and my day spent watching the entire second season. i, absolutely by no means am a fan of my immobile behavior. i wrote a six word story and that’s about it, honestly, i am a mess. i have a commitment issues with my words, slutty with remarks, i need to become more engaged with my intentions.
i think what i will do is simply force myself to write. give myself no allowances, no meals or liberties. or rather i know that won’t happen. i have to face the fact that i can’t be cruel to myself, not because of my writing (at least not anymore). i’m way too good to myself now, less creative but way too good. damn my creative politics and self granting diplomatic ways. i’ll write something eventually and try to eliminate my trend of writing about my need to write.